How to Persuade better with Daniel Pink #Blogg100

#062 [LXII]
Life’s a pitch [How you can “Sell” and Persuade better]

Daniel Pink - Life’s a pitch

Daniel Pink – Life’s a pitch

We are constantly persuading others to use their time and resources to do things the way we want them done. How can you get better at this?

Now you can hear Daniel Pink’s event on the RSA here: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. As before I was able to get my own question answered via Twitter:

Pink question

ABCs for persuading others

There are 3 keys in persuading others. These are the ABCs of persuasion: Attunement, Buoyancy, Clarity.

Attunement [Perspective taking]

Attunement is to bring oneself into harmony with other individuals, groups, and context. Listening to and understanding them. Mirroring back and Perspective taking.

This is when we mirror back another persons words, gestures and posture. We then end up seeing things from another person perspective. This triggers our mirror neurons in our brains and builds trust.

The most successful pitcher are the people who invite the other person in as a participate. See the pitching process as an invitation to collaborate. An invitation to give me your point of view. Pitch is a prelude to a to an engagement. The point of a pitch is to engage the other person so that you can have a continued conversation.

You must also build trust over time by befriending them.

Remembering and and saying another persons name is also great for building a relation. As my No.1 tip I say Befriend Everyone.

Lessen your power to increase it

When you feel more powerful you get worse on Perspective taking. So to increase your power you must feel less powerful and more humble.

Feelers and Thinkers

To be a successful negotiator you must ask yourself, what are they feeling. But Feelers are not the best at negotiate. Even if we like them to be. They are good, but Thinkers are even better. They are the ones who can figure out what others are interested in and what are they thinking. You must also understand that everyone has something that they hold sacred and will defended in a very irrational way.

“If you want to understand a group follow their sacredness. Wherever people sacralize something you will find: Ignorance, Blindness to the Truth and Resistance to evidence”Jonathan Haidt

Buoyancy [Ability to stay afloat]

How do you remain afloat in an Ocean of Rejection? What should you do before, during and after an encounter?

Before an encounter you should question your abilities instead of pumping yourself up. This will make you aware of your weak points and better respond to them and not make you to overconfident.

During an encounter you should use more positive words and feelings. Here you must reach the Losada Ratio. With a ratio of at least 3 to 1 on positive words over negative words, but never more tan 11 to 1. That’s where people will start thinking you are crazy.

If you want to criticize someone and want the message to get through instead of rejected. You must first reach a Losada Ratio of 5 to 1.

After an Encounter we must be good at explaining failure and learn from it. This we can do with resilience training. According to Martin Seligman and his research there are 3 ways to do this. The opposite of personal, pervasive, and permanent. That is transient, situational, and specific. I had nothing to do with me. This things happens sometimes. We can learn from the outcome and adapt to it in the future.

A failure or setback is just temporary. I can change it and this was just this one occurrence.

This also the ability to adapt to change and failure. See Eddie Obeng and Smart Failure. I discuss this more in episode #092 [XCII] Adapt, Adapt, Adapt

Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman

Clarity [Distill information]

We must be able to filter through plethora of information that is available today. The capacity to make sense of murky situations. One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have. Not only solve problems but To find Opportunities where others see none. The ability look into the future and predict where a bump in the road might occur.

“Roads? Where we are going we don’t need roads!” — Dr. Emmett Brown

Utility or Curiosity

He also mentions the best way to pitch in email form. The in order for a email to be opened the subject line most speak to our curiosity or must feel useful at the moment like I described in episode #072 [LXXII] How you can affect others better.

Then Why?

Yes and what about my question on Twitter? Where did it go? Yes, why we should do something is very important. See more about Simon Sinek in my blog.

If you want to change someone behavior you should always start explaining why before you explain how to do it and what you get when it’s done. And you must explain this on a personal level for each individual. Why they should do something and what they stand to gain.

Here is another blog about Daniel Pink’s RSA talk.

@LordSillion

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Boost your Happiness #Blogg100

#063 [LXIII]
Happiness – Willpower – Mediation [Do it Harder, faster and more intelligently]

I have been participating in Kelly McGonigal’s online course 28 days Boost your willpower. Today I came across this TED talk by Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work thanks to @molbimien in here blog. So his advice in the end correlates very much with Kelly’s teaching and others that researches in happiness.

Do Random acts of kindness - Shawn Achor

Do Random acts of kindness – Shawn Achor

Harder, faster and more intelligently

Here is 5 tips from Shawn Achor on how to be happier and thus becoming more productive.

  • 3 things you are grateful of today. 20 days in a row
  • Journaling – Blogging
  • Exercise 
  • Mindful Mediation
  • Random acts of kindness

3 things you are grateful of today. 20 days in a row

Write down 3 things each day that you where grateful of. This is an exercise that I have done before after reading of it in Martin Seligman’s book Flourish. I will restart doing it “Today”. As their is no tomorrow. It’s always Today, Today and Today.

Journaling – Blogging

Writing down your ideas and hunches helps the brain thinking about them. As I discussed in my earlier episode #066 [LXVI] Chance favors the connected mind [Keep on blogging] blogging or making notes on a daily basis helps. Blog away! Find all tips under Journaling.

Exercise

Daily Exercise keep your thinking engine and happiness spinning on top. When sitting down all day I recommend getting up for a short exercise ever 4 hour like running up some stairs. Some people but not all have the genes that benefits from doing 3 minutes extremely high intensity taring [HIT] for 3 minutes.  See also my blogposts: Dance and Run in Stairs.

Mindful Mediation

Want more willpower and focus? Just doing a 5 minute Mindful meditation a day has a scientific proven effect of boosting your mind and willpower. Use the technique described below.

Random acts of kindness
Doing random acts of Kindness will make you feel better as well as making the receiver more likely to pay it forward. Simon Sinek explains this very well in his speech here: #088 [LXXXVIII] I want you to become a better version of you.

More or less?

According to Barry Schwarts we must also limit the number of choice we make. So that we don’t get stuck in Analysis Paralysis. AP [Analysis Paralysis] is something that all we Boardgamers are very familiar with. Games are just that. Simulation of choice and consequence. I for one, think that there are Free Will in games as well as in life. We must not get stuck on our choices. And even if we regret our choices. We must learn that like in a game we can’t redo our choices. Life is Permanent.

“Regret does not remind us we did badly. It remind us we could do better.” — Kathyrn Schulz

A Five-Minute Meditation

This is from Kelly McGonigal’s online course 28 days Boost your willpower.

Whenever you’re trying to make a change in your life, a daily meditation practice can be a positive ally. But that doesn’t mean you have to go buy a cushion, sign up for training, or dedicate 45 minutes each day to some strict, idealized discipline. Keep it easy, and keep it light. You can reap serious benefits from this simple, five-minute practice:

1. Sit still and stay put. You don’t have to be on a cushion or mat; just find a spot where you can sit comfortably for five minutes.

2. Turn your attention to the breath. For a minute or two, think to yourself “inhale” with every inhalation, “exhale” with every exhalation.

3. Notice how it feels to breathe, and feel the mind wander. After a minute or two, drop the labels, and just notice how it feels in the body to breathe. You might feel it in the nose, in the belly, or in the throat. If your mind wanders—which it will!—just keep calm and return to the sensation of the breath.

That’s it. This micro-meditation is an incredibly powerful willpower booster—the practice of returning attention again and again to the breath kicks the prefrontal cortex (the decision-making center of the brain) into high gear and quiets the stress and craving centers of your brain. Every time you bring your attention away from a wandering thought and back to the breath, you strengthen self-awareness and boost self-control.

@LordSillion

Är du Produktiv? #Blogg100

#098 [XCVIII]
Vad motiverar dig? [When do you feel productive?]

När kände du dig produktiv senast?
Vad producerade du då?
Var det värt det?

Detta är frågor som Jane McGonigal ställer i ett jättebra tal för 2 år sen (se längst ner). Det var då det hände! The Dragon Ninja inside me awoke. It had been asleep for many years. Jag började jaga runt på Internet efter mer. Jag började hitta en massa inspirerade saker om hur vi som människor fungerar.

Dragon Ninja

Dragon Ninja

Vad är det då som gör att vi mår bra och känner oss produktiva? Både Jane McGonigal och Martin Seligman hade kommit fram till ungefär samma saker i deras forskning.

Jane har forskat på varför det är så skoj att spela spel. Att spela spel är bland det mest produktiva vi kan göra och massor har med positiva effekt när vi gör det tillsammans. Vi litar mer på dom vi spelat ihop med och det binder samman gruppen. Det kan bota depressioner och kan till och med hjälpa ett helt folk igenom svält. Hon förklara det bra i filmen nedan.

Dessa mekanismer används även i Gamification för att triggar samma belöningar som vi känner när vi spelar ett bra spel.

Martin är en världsledande forskare inom positiv psykologi och tagit fram modellen för vad det som får att oss att blomstra som människor. Han kallar det PERMA. Han berättar bra om det i sitt RSA tal.

Vad är PERMA?

PERMA är dom fem saker så får dig att må bra som är helt skilda från varandra men förekommer ofta i kombination.

P – Positive Emotions – Positiva känslor –– Vi gillar alla att känna positiva känslor. Dom kan triggas alla typer av händelser och upplevelser.  Det är känslor som glädje, frid, tacksamhet, tillfredsställelse, tillit, stolthet, behag, inspiration, hopp, nyfikenhet eller kärlek. Det är viktigt att bejaka dessa känslor och unna dig själv att känna dessa.

E – Engagement (or flow) – Engagemang –– Vi känner oss engagerade  när vi blir helt involverad  i det vi gör. När en uppgift är precis lagom utmanande. Vi kan även hamna i “Flow” när vi glömmer tiden helt och blir uppslukade av det vi gör.

R – Relationships – Relationer –– Att vara social med andra är själva kärnan i vad det är att vara människa. Det är när vi har bra relationer med dom nära oss som vi är den bästa versionen av oss själva. Samarbete och vänlig-konkurrens tar fram det bästa i oss.

M – Meaning – Mening –– Mening kommer när vi skapar berättelse om våra liv som känns större än oss själva. När vi är på väg mot ett stort eller episkt mål. Det kan uppstå när vi tillbringar vår tid med något som känns heligt för oss eller gruppen.

A – Accomplishments – Fullbordan –– Att fullborda och avsluta ett mål eller delmål är något som alltid får oss att må bra. Att känna att vi blir bättre på något ger oss också en känsla fullbordan. Eller när vi får bra feedback och återkoppling med det vi håller på med.

Designa det goda livet

Med detta i åtanke kan vi börja att designa ett bättre liv och ett nytt samhälle där vi lever och mår bra tillsammans.

Och spela gärna lite mer spel tillsammans. Det gör att vi mår bra 🙂

Gaming Together

Gaming Together

/@LordSillion

Jane McGonigal On Productivity