How to Influence and Persuade #Blogg100

#019 [XIX]
Why our decisions usually goes with what the Tribe wants [Are you a Tribesman?]

I got the tip from Helena Viberg about the 6 Principles of Influence and Persuasion according to science. See the excellent animated Youtube video below or read this great blog: Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence.

influence

1. Reciprocity

We humans are programmed to return Favors. Here it helps to be the first to give and make sure that what you give feels natural and with the receiver in mind.

2. Scarcity

By making something limited in numbers or by window of time it’s available, we increase the level by which we desire it. The Feeling that we will miss out if we don’t act now and the opportunity will be gone forever.

3. Authority

We feel a sense of duty or obligation to people in positions of authority or in uniform. We listen to what credible experts say.

4. Consistency and Commitment

Once we made a commitment however big or small, we like to stay with that commitment as not to look the fool. If you want a big decision grounded. Make someone make a small insignificant commitment in same tune.

5. Liking

We tend to be more influenced by people we like. People we trust or people who pay us compliments or people who seems similar to us. People we feel we belong to. Try to establish common ground. What are your similar goals and believes?

6. Consensus

If someone is uncertain in their choices they tend to look at what others have done before them. In general we don’t want to stand out doing the odd thing. We easily follow the Buzz or the Flow of the tribe.

Daniel Pink - Life’s a pitch

Daniel Pink – Life’s a pitch

The Art of Persuasion [Attunement – Buoyancy – Clarity]

Cialdini’s 6 steps are from are from 1984. Do they go hand in hand with Daniel Pink’s ABCs of Persuasion: Attunement, Buoyancy and Clarity?  Are Pink’s model a little more updated or are they just the same?

What do you think?

Dan Ariely also tells us that if we want someone to choose from 2 similar choices. Throw in a slightly less attractive version of the one we want them to choose and they are more likely to choose door number 1.

Are you under the influence? [Who is inside your head poking around?]

Also keep them in mind when you are going to make an important decision. How are others influencing your decision process. Make up a list and try to identify these 6 points. Are you been tricked?

And remember as always. With every new skill you learn use it responsibility and for the better good.

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]

Update:

Find Helena’s blogs here in Swedish:

Cialdini’s 6 påverkansprinciper i kortfilm

Cialdinis 6 principer för påverkan

Advertisements

How to Persuade better with Daniel Pink #Blogg100

#062 [LXII]
Life’s a pitch [How you can “Sell” and Persuade better]

Daniel Pink - Life’s a pitch

Daniel Pink – Life’s a pitch

We are constantly persuading others to use their time and resources to do things the way we want them done. How can you get better at this?

Now you can hear Daniel Pink’s event on the RSA here: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. As before I was able to get my own question answered via Twitter:

Pink question

ABCs for persuading others

There are 3 keys in persuading others. These are the ABCs of persuasion: Attunement, Buoyancy, Clarity.

Attunement [Perspective taking]

Attunement is to bring oneself into harmony with other individuals, groups, and context. Listening to and understanding them. Mirroring back and Perspective taking.

This is when we mirror back another persons words, gestures and posture. We then end up seeing things from another person perspective. This triggers our mirror neurons in our brains and builds trust.

The most successful pitcher are the people who invite the other person in as a participate. See the pitching process as an invitation to collaborate. An invitation to give me your point of view. Pitch is a prelude to a to an engagement. The point of a pitch is to engage the other person so that you can have a continued conversation.

You must also build trust over time by befriending them.

Remembering and and saying another persons name is also great for building a relation. As my No.1 tip I say Befriend Everyone.

Lessen your power to increase it

When you feel more powerful you get worse on Perspective taking. So to increase your power you must feel less powerful and more humble.

Feelers and Thinkers

To be a successful negotiator you must ask yourself, what are they feeling. But Feelers are not the best at negotiate. Even if we like them to be. They are good, but Thinkers are even better. They are the ones who can figure out what others are interested in and what are they thinking. You must also understand that everyone has something that they hold sacred and will defended in a very irrational way.

“If you want to understand a group follow their sacredness. Wherever people sacralize something you will find: Ignorance, Blindness to the Truth and Resistance to evidence”Jonathan Haidt

Buoyancy [Ability to stay afloat]

How do you remain afloat in an Ocean of Rejection? What should you do before, during and after an encounter?

Before an encounter you should question your abilities instead of pumping yourself up. This will make you aware of your weak points and better respond to them and not make you to overconfident.

During an encounter you should use more positive words and feelings. Here you must reach the Losada Ratio. With a ratio of at least 3 to 1 on positive words over negative words, but never more tan 11 to 1. That’s where people will start thinking you are crazy.

If you want to criticize someone and want the message to get through instead of rejected. You must first reach a Losada Ratio of 5 to 1.

After an Encounter we must be good at explaining failure and learn from it. This we can do with resilience training. According to Martin Seligman and his research there are 3 ways to do this. The opposite of personal, pervasive, and permanent. That is transient, situational, and specific. I had nothing to do with me. This things happens sometimes. We can learn from the outcome and adapt to it in the future.

A failure or setback is just temporary. I can change it and this was just this one occurrence.

This also the ability to adapt to change and failure. See Eddie Obeng and Smart Failure. I discuss this more in episode #092 [XCII] Adapt, Adapt, Adapt

Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman

Clarity [Distill information]

We must be able to filter through plethora of information that is available today. The capacity to make sense of murky situations. One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have. Not only solve problems but To find Opportunities where others see none. The ability look into the future and predict where a bump in the road might occur.

“Roads? Where we are going we don’t need roads!” — Dr. Emmett Brown

Utility or Curiosity

He also mentions the best way to pitch in email form. The in order for a email to be opened the subject line most speak to our curiosity or must feel useful at the moment like I described in episode #072 [LXXII] How you can affect others better.

Then Why?

Yes and what about my question on Twitter? Where did it go? Yes, why we should do something is very important. See more about Simon Sinek in my blog.

If you want to change someone behavior you should always start explaining why before you explain how to do it and what you get when it’s done. And you must explain this on a personal level for each individual. Why they should do something and what they stand to gain.

Here is another blog about Daniel Pink’s RSA talk.

@LordSillion