Lies, Truth and Self-Narration

We all do it! Tell Stories. And almost every one of them we tell to ourself. It is how consciousness works. It’s a story of yourself. And your conscious self can help self-direct it. It’s called making choices. Some say that we don’t have free will. I think they are defining it wrong. We do choices all the time. All based on the previous stories we have stored in our brain. What is a lie then? It’s just a story. Most of the time we can’t tell if it’s “true”. To the brain all things are stories. A conscious lie is when we have two parallel stories of what took place and chooses to tell the other. So how often do you direct your own stories?

How good are you at lying to yourself? [Become a better Self-Narrator!]

Think about for 10 seconds before you read on.

Dan Ariely - Why We Lie

Dan Ariely – Why We Lie

So I have been listening to a lot of different “Stories” on Lying and Self-Narration. For a good start I recommend listening to TED Radio hour: Why We Lie with people like Dan Ariely and Michael Shermer.

“Can’t have champagne wishes without caviar dreams.” – Nolan Ross

As you read this you are watching a movie. It’s a very real movie triggering all of your senses. It is called Consciousness. It’s made up from a very complex source of external and internal sensory inputs, simulations, memories and stories. In order for it all to come together, The Director in your mind, has to cut many corners and throw away lots of material. The Director is a very good liar, or Storyteller as we would like to call it. This is in fact “You” lying to yourself. It all makes sense. This Story, that is you. Sometimes it’s just not “The Truth”. Because for the Brain that is a mythological concept.

“Character Is A Vital Lie” – Ernest Becker

As you interact with the outside world, you are constantly using this story to further you, on your journey through life. Your brain is full of filters that makes everything you experience a very unique experience just for you. Keep that in mind when you interact with others and share your story.

You Always Believe What You Tell Yourself

Belief Or Make Belief

Belief Or Make Belief

When you think of it, this is our greatest gift. Something that should be cherished. It’s also a good skill to have. It’s a form of Masquerade and a Roleplaying Game. You have many internal roles and parts of your brain that blends into a mix that is you and gives rise to your self illusion. With this in mind let’s get better at it. If you want to Change people. Don’t tell them what to do. Tell them a Story that they can internalize and tell to themselves. That can become part of their story.

The Self is a house of Cards – Jason Silva

Life is a Game. Let’s Play Tonight!

Let’s play a little game. I want you to try and tell your story to others and have them tell your story back to you. How does that feel? Now do the same for them. Ask them how does that feel. To to reflect together on how your own story differs from others story about you.

We can all need a little help in the Narration of our own lives. Start spending time with people who are good at Narrating their own life. Then you will become better at narrating your own. We can all Become Gurus of Our Own Life as Jonathan Fields put it. Just remember:

Even if you are alone in your own mind, you are never alone outside of it. 

Become a better Self-Narrator!

@LordSillion 
Holistic Thinking Ninja

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How to Win Friends & Change your World

We all change every day. Do we want to get smarter, wiser and stronger or just random changes? We think we know how make better decisions as we get older. And yet we always do irrational predictable stuff. The way to come around this by choosing your surroundings and the people you spend the most time with. So how do you get new friends that you can spend more time with? And how do we design our environment so it help us to make better decisions? 

Change

 How to Win Friends and Influence People [Start by Changing how you treat other people]

Today I did it. Bought the audiobook How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie on Audible and started listen to it. It has been on my to-do list for a long time. I just heard a good interview with Scott Dinsmore on the Podcast Knowledge for Men (episode 39) that it was one of his favourites books. So that finally triggered me to do it. I have read the sum up lists on Wikipedia and thought that, that was it. But no. The book is full with so much insight that it is a marvel for being written in 1937. And there in lies the great mystery.

If they knew back then, by empirical evidence, that it’s great to follow all this advice. Then why aren’t we all doing it today, almost 80 years later. Why aren’t these findings taught to every kid in every school?

Well, I don’t have an answer for that. What we can do is start talking about it and teaching it today.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Here is the first list that I wrote about in my first famous blogpost: Why are we so Groupish? Get a feel for it and if you want more just find the book yourself.

Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

How You Really Make Decisions [Mental Shotgun, Confirmation bias and so on…]

I also found the english version of the documentary that we saw here last monday in Sweden with Dan Ariely and Daniel Kahneman about all the ways that our human brain makes thinking errors. Go se it in english here from BBC Horizon: How You Really Make Decisions.

PAW-Kahneman

Daniel Kahneman – How You Really Make Decisions

Since there are som many ways that we can do things the wrong way there is only one way to make things better. To set up the surrounding world so that is helps us and not sets us back. Design institutions, cities, laws, work, processes so that they avoid all the fallacies of the brain. And there is a lot of them. Over 145 to Kahneman’s counting.

So If changing yourself is so hard. Change your surroundings and the people you spend time with instead. Design your environment and what you come in contact with on a daily basis. Then you will come along way — Michael Sillion

MayThe4th

If I put myself in new places and around new people, will I change?

Set yourself up For The Win [Architect the world around you]

Today I also found 2 great clips from The School of Life in London. Check them out:

Roman Krznaric – How to Find Fulfilling Work

John-Paul Flintoff – How to Change the World

Change isn’t hard. You do it every second. You just have to come aware of your actions. And it really helps if you have a vision, a goal or a mission to align your actions to. So go out and change yourself and the world around you so as it best align with the future that is your Destiny(nation). — Michael Sillion

/LordSillion
Holistic Thinking Ninja

What a piece of crap is a man? #Blogg100

#016 [XVI]
How irrational in reason? [How finite in faculty?]

Dan Ariely

Dan Ariely

Although I have read all his books and seen many talks of Dan Ariely I still decided to sign up in his online course A Beginner’s Guide to Irrational Behavior.

Too Predictable? Did I have a choice? Can we make choices?

The more we learn about the brain and our behavior the more fascinating it gets. We are not the rational creature many set us out to be. Many of our decisions are made on a gut feeling and then rationalized by our conscious thought after. We know this because in numerous studies of Dan and his likes can predict our irrational and emotional behavior.

Talk to the hand [Because no-one is home listening]

The best mental model and metaphor for our brain is that of a very large elephant that makes up most parts of our brain that are in a constant debate of what decisions make. Then we have the small rider that is our conscious thought and reasoning.

Jonathan Haidt call this model: The Elephant and The Rider.

The Elephant stands for our intuition that makes constant and instantaneous decisions. The Rider then works like Press secretary that makes up a story that correlates and justifies with the decision made by The Elephant. With the help of this Press secretary, we are able to lie and cheat often, and then cover it up so effectively that we convince even ourselves

The Elephant itself consist of many small parts of the brain that is in constant “conflict” with each others on what decisions to make.

The Rider is there to guide the Elephant where to go and what decisions to make but the Elephant and it’s many parts are in charge.

What can we do?

We must keep an open mind to that we are this animal creature. And we must help each other to spot when we making wrong decisions. So that when someone tells you are doing it wrong me can step out of our self and try to se what we can do differently instead of getting defensive.

It’s not an easy task. But we can strive to make Shakespeare’s quote come true 🙂

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty!

Check out more post about Dan Ariely.

 

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]

How to Influence and Persuade #Blogg100

#019 [XIX]
Why our decisions usually goes with what the Tribe wants [Are you a Tribesman?]

I got the tip from Helena Viberg about the 6 Principles of Influence and Persuasion according to science. See the excellent animated Youtube video below or read this great blog: Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence.

influence

1. Reciprocity

We humans are programmed to return Favors. Here it helps to be the first to give and make sure that what you give feels natural and with the receiver in mind.

2. Scarcity

By making something limited in numbers or by window of time it’s available, we increase the level by which we desire it. The Feeling that we will miss out if we don’t act now and the opportunity will be gone forever.

3. Authority

We feel a sense of duty or obligation to people in positions of authority or in uniform. We listen to what credible experts say.

4. Consistency and Commitment

Once we made a commitment however big or small, we like to stay with that commitment as not to look the fool. If you want a big decision grounded. Make someone make a small insignificant commitment in same tune.

5. Liking

We tend to be more influenced by people we like. People we trust or people who pay us compliments or people who seems similar to us. People we feel we belong to. Try to establish common ground. What are your similar goals and believes?

6. Consensus

If someone is uncertain in their choices they tend to look at what others have done before them. In general we don’t want to stand out doing the odd thing. We easily follow the Buzz or the Flow of the tribe.

Daniel Pink - Life’s a pitch

Daniel Pink – Life’s a pitch

The Art of Persuasion [Attunement – Buoyancy – Clarity]

Cialdini’s 6 steps are from are from 1984. Do they go hand in hand with Daniel Pink’s ABCs of Persuasion: Attunement, Buoyancy and Clarity?  Are Pink’s model a little more updated or are they just the same?

What do you think?

Dan Ariely also tells us that if we want someone to choose from 2 similar choices. Throw in a slightly less attractive version of the one we want them to choose and they are more likely to choose door number 1.

Are you under the influence? [Who is inside your head poking around?]

Also keep them in mind when you are going to make an important decision. How are others influencing your decision process. Make up a list and try to identify these 6 points. Are you been tricked?

And remember as always. With every new skill you learn use it responsibility and for the better good.

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]

Update:

Find Helena’s blogs here in Swedish:

Cialdini’s 6 påverkansprinciper i kortfilm

Cialdinis 6 principer för påverkan

Mug Loving #Blogg100

#034[XXXIV]
Wanna piece of me? [I melt for no one!]

My M&M Mugs

My M&M Mugs

When I walk into M&M’s store on Times Square in New York and saw these mugs I just know I had 2 get them. What mugs or glasses we drink our brewages from has hug impact how we experiences the taste of them. As Dan Ariely has shown in his studies. When I saw the huge Red Round Mug in front of me. It instantly reminded me of my red mug I used to have as a child. I also love the round form with the thick walls that will keep my Tea or hot Chocolate warm for long while drinking. I was instantly sold to me. And it made such a great couple with the green one as well.

Mug Loving!

Terra Mystica

Terra Mystica

Tzolk'in

Tzolk’in

Gamer slang

There are also 2 great quotes inside the mugs. “Wanna piece of me?” and “I melt for no one!”. Today (11 am) I started my day where I left it early this morning (6 am). Meeting people and playing boardgames at the gaming convention Gothcon in Sweden. When we sit down and play games in the hallways and the classrooms at Hvitfeldtska High-school many people walk by or stay and watch the games. A few of them commented on the language we where using. We use a lot of gamer slang, friendly thrash talk, and a lot of Swinglish words.
“Iskallt” [Ice cold] comes to mind when someone pulls off a daring move.

It’s just how we gamers roll

Imperial

Imperial gaming

In a hallway I came across some people playing one of my all time favorite boardgames: Imperial. I noticed that they used the Nobish Investor card variant. So I asked if they have played allot. 3 where beginners a one guy had played it around 10 times. He didn’t even know that there where a better variant of the game designed for real gamers. So they where really glad when I explained how the game was supposed to play. I also noticed that there where no flags in the ocean areas. This was a ruled I remember that we also missed on our very first play thinking that you only got points for the land areas.

I watched them for a while pointing out moves and strategies each and every one could make. Then they cheered me on my merry way. It is always such a powerful feeling you get when hanging out with gamers and helping each other. That’s what I like the most of gaming convention like Gothcon or PAX. The Positive vibe you get from meeting most people here.

Gothcon Mugs

Gothcon Mugs

International TableTop Day

Today is also International TableTop Day all over the world. And that is so fitting here in Sweden with Gothcon and all. Speaking of Gothcon and mugs and all … Like many Conventions here in Sweden, Gothcon has a special mug printed every year that you buy too get free Tee and Coffee throughout the Convention. Being a Mug Lover myself, I of course have to collect them all.

God night everyone and play more games “Together” face to face drinking your favorite brewages from your favorite mugs 🙂

@LordSillion

Why we Sin and Lie #Blogg100

#080 [LXXX]
We are all Sinners and Liars

Well the Pope is right. We are all sinners.

What would make us to cheat less?

According to Dan Ariely and his research we lie all the time. In fact, as I said before. We can never tell the truth. Just a mere Truthy Tale. But what would make want to tell a story as truth worthy as possible? What would make us  to cheat less?

Anything that reminds of our moral code. Like reciting the ten commandments. Religion got a hang of this many thousands of years ago. So when ever we get put in a position to make a decision where we could cheat and lie we must be reminded of something that stands for our morality.

Yo can see or listen to his latest talk before the RSA: Free beer: The truth about dishonesty. Or see the even shorter RSA Animate version. (Both are found at the bottom.)

If you want more you can Listen to or read his latest book The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone – Especially Ourselves.

What increase and decrease honesty

What increase and decrease honesty

What can The Borgias teach us?

Sinners or Saints?

Sinners or Saints?

Another Pope sinner of rank is Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia masterfully portrayed by Jeremy Irons in the TV-Series The Borgias. Power corrupts and we must recognize that our most powerful decision makers are in dire need of moral guidance.

Kick-Ass Obama

AS I finish this up I’m listening to Obama doing The State of the Union. I’m happy to hear that he intends to spend more in Science and Research. Especially to stop Climate Change. More about this later in the week.

@LordSillion