What Is Love? [Her the Movie]

Why does Movies affect us more than we know? They can enlighten the way we think about ourselves and our future. What many of us know about love and how we should live together we get from Movies and TV-Series. So finally we get a movie like Her, who takes responsibility in awaken our thoughts on the matter. What can it teach us about love and how we should live together in the future? Find out below as my mind wanders on the subject 🙂

Do You Feel Alone? [Is More Love and Companionship the Answer?]

Her the Movie

Her the Movie – The heart is not like a box that gets filled up – It expands in size the more you love

We humans are social creatures by nature. It’s what makes us human. We are made for living together sharing food and stories with each others . Modern brain science shows that it’s hardwired into our brains. It’s makes us feel good when we help others. Most of us don’t like being alone and yet our modern world seems designed in many ways to keep us apart. Especially the notion that we should live only with our significant other and maybe some children. Or just alone by ourselves, like how many people do in our big modern cities. And yet, we are designed to live in a small or a large Tribe in so many ways.

Some of us has made it work, to live together with others. Many of rest of us feel very alone in our lives and in our decisions. This become very apparent during Christmas. The guilt and the loneliness we try to smother by consuming ever more stuff. Many of us tries to drown our Social Pain in Alcohol or Drugs. The Mental Care institutes are ever so crowded around the holidays, filled with human tragedy. And it’s going in the wrong direction. We now know that Social Pain is as real to the brain as physical pain. The old myth that we can just shake it of, is no longer valid and truly busted. Thanks to modern science and MRI scans we now know that large parts of our brain are wired to keep us in the social game. So what is the opposite of Social Pain and being alone? Is it Love and Companionship? What can we do to get better at this Social Game?

What do you think?

Decisions, Decisions [Why are we so bad at them?]

Human are also especially bad at making crucial decisions alone. We all need help. The Brain is very prone to make irrational emotional decisions and make up a logical rational explanation long after the decision is made. Sometimes we only have an explanation when we get asked about why we did what we did. We also hold things sacred. And around things we hold sacred, we are especially bad at making informed decisions. Here we all need help. Preferable from people who don’t think alike to avoid group thinking. This is also a reason why we should spend more time together. So that we can be there for each other.

So ask for help the next time you are making a tough decision.


Are you Her? [The past is just a story we tell ourselves] 

The movie HER by Spike Jonze is a very fascinating story about love and loneliness. The setting is near future where living together or alone is just as complex or even more so than today. Check out some of the background to the movie here: Spike Jonze Imagines the Future of Intelligence, Mobile Design, Love and Pants in “HER” and The Past is Just a Story We Tell Ourselves. There are many questions that pop into my head during this move. And non get any real answer. They are just for us the Audience to ponder on. The questions I ponder on are:

1. Are we okay with living on our own? [Does just intellectual companionship suffice?]

Yes. We probably are. Intellectual stimuli are something most of us get to little of. It’s something many of us crave more of. Even though some parts of the brain is lazy, other parts can’t resist excitement if feels when getting a proper intellectual dialog going.


No. She is a fictional construct, whereas I am a virtual entity. But we can still be friends.

Theodore in Her thinks he has found a perfect relationship with the AI called Samantha in the beginning. It’s just a little awkward when he should tell others about it, that might not understand. It’s like Raj in the episode The Beta Test Initiation of Big Bang Theory season 5. Raj has extreme trouble talking to women. So he finds true excitement when he gets an iPhone 5 with Siri and starts a relationship with her. So long as he is alone with Siri it’s fine but it becomes social awkward when they should socialize with other people.

Theodore on the other hand finds out everyone else is doing it too, having a virtual relationship with their AI. I think it could be an interesting companionship for everyone. Especially with those who has trouble forming real world relationships. But her lies also the real danger. Maybe now they have no reason at all to meet real people. With the right mindset it can probably be give us better social skills. And we all need that. Can it be Empathy training for those who need it the most? Yes, as long as it doesn’t replaces all other real world relationships. We need those too. It doesn’t replace them. It just complements them, I think.

We need the physical touch too, that generates oxytocin in our bodies. The brain is to hardwired for interaction with other humans or even other mammals for us to ignore the positive effects of living together. Sharing life and touching each other. So could we live in mental companionship with AI or a true online relationship while getting other social stimuli from other real persons? Like a mix? Probably, but it would be very hard balancing act to conduct. So is it worth giving a try? If we do nothing to conduct our future, we will probably get there soon. Should we?

2. How should we then design tomorrows cities and societies? [Are we ready for the cramming?]

Her The Movie - Designing our future cities for a better social life

Her The Movie – Designing our future cities for a better social life

We just love living in social tribes. That why so many of us move to, or live in cities. We are just not very good at designing these lives, in the city. Up until know most of our living has been without any design thinking. Many of us end up alone in the cities. The “Free Market” takes non of this into consideration when cramming us so close together, yet so separated by walls. And it’s not sustainable either. With every one of us having so many recourses by ourselves, without sharing them.

Let’s design our future cities so that they enables a better social life with more love & empathy and give room for a health life — Michael Sillion

And it’s now a theory, that even the very first cities from ten thousand years ago where only able to survive and flourish, thanks to the invention of beer. With so many people living together without a plan or oversight we are just hellbent on getting in each other’s faces. Alcohol solved some part of that problem by making us more social and tolerant of each other.

Now we know better what makes us tic and what makes us sting each other. It’s a very interesting and social science will continue to evolve us into insights, about how we should live together. With so many of us bunching up, shouldn’t we use our new knowledge to design better ways of living together? I defiantly think we should. We can’t leave it just to chance and the economic forces of a market economy. The life and the future is not about profit. We need to take charge, like some cities all over the world has already done.

Maybe all we need is our little cave where we can be alone for a while. But we also need new and better campfires where we can huddle up, share a meal and a conversation. Watch the stars and the moon. Engulf in fantasies about the past and the future together, using our favorite storytelling. And in all the excitement we can play great games and sports together. Sharpening both mind and body. We should even engulf in spiritual and energetic dance together. Thus turning on the Hive-Switch in our minds, binding us ever closer together.

3. What is Love? [Baby don’t hurt me, Baby don’t hurt me, No more]

Peter Sage on Love – Being someones significant other.

Yes, what is love? Peter Sage gives a great definition on London Real: 

Love is being someones significant other — Peter Sage

The definition of significant being: Separate from. Different too. Unique.
So total focused unconditional presence is what you should have in mind. Not two half circles that complete each other. It is two whole circles that are attracted to each other. Before you can truly love someone else, you must first find and complete yourself. And it’s also a paradox. As no one is never complete. The journey never ends. So is true love impossible or just slightly improbable? I think it’s something you should always strive towards and never reach.

Don’t be a boat that tries to carry someone. Be a lighthouse and harbour to light their path and provide comfort and understanding.

What we can do to make any relationship better is to make it Active Constructive. When someone close to you give you good news you can choose to respond in enthusiastic positive way. You also should try to keep a positive Losada Ration. More than not you should have positive conversations with your partner.

4. What can we do to change all this? [Let’s get social]

We are now entering a new era of a Social Society. We are just seeing the seeds of this thanks to the Internet and Social Media. This new Society will not come automatically. We need to help creating it, for it to become true. I can easily go in the wrong direction or go away entirely if we are not careful. Indeed some parts of society already are. It’s very interesting to listen to the thoughts of Matthew Liberman, Dov Siedman, BrenĂ© Brown and Daniel Goleman all from the RSA podcast. They all have different things to say about Era of Social and Empathy. And yet you can connect the dots between them. It all combines well with what Peter Sage says above about moving into a creative entrepreneurial future together. Go ahead and give one of them a listen 🙂

Her the Movie - Let's hack the Future

Her the Movie – Let’s hack the Future

Hack the Source Code [Create the Future]

We can’t just redo our lives over and over again until we get it right like in movies like Goundhog Day and Source Code. We have to make up for our mistakes along their way. But if we are smart about or actions and learn quickly from our own and others mistakes, we can Hack Life to the better. Listen to what other wise people have to say and hack out our own path through the wilderness. Bring along their tools, and use them in your own way.

So don’t hasten to judge someone else. Try to listen to them and understand them instead.

The best quote from Her the Movie is:

The past is just a Story we tell ourselves — Samantha

Don’t dwell and focus on the past. No good will come from it. Forgive and move on. Because: The Future is also a Story we tell ourselves. It shapes the Path we set out to travel on. Surround yourself with people who are on the same journey and you will be much more likely to get there. We create our own future. If we want more Love in this world we just have to Hack it in a smart way to get it.

Lets hack life for more Love & Empathy!

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]
Your Future Captain

[Images courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures]

Busande Barn

Tanken som slog mig i helgen var att, allt som vi och vÄra bran upplever pÄverkar och formar oss! SÄ vad hÀnder nÀr nÄgon klankar ner pÄ oss nÀr vi har som roligast och Àr som mest uppspelta? Rinner det bara av oss i stundens upphetsning eller sÀtter det djupa spÄr?

Ha inte sÄ förbaskat skoj!

I helgen var jag hemma med mina 2 döttrar hos en ny vĂ€n hĂ€r i Varberg som har 3 barn i ungefĂ€r samma Ă„lder. Det var första gĂ„ngen som barnen trĂ€ffades. Det tog en liten stund för dom att komma igĂ„ng. Sen var det full fart med springande och tjutande runt i huset och runt sofforna dĂ€r vi vuxna satt och “lekte vuxenleken” fika. En av oss vuxna slĂ€ngde efter en stund ivĂ€g den vĂ€ntade kommentaren. “Ni fĂ„r gĂ€rna gĂ„ in pĂ„ ert rum och busa. Vi hör inte vad vi sĂ€ger hĂ€r ute”. EfterĂ„t nĂ€r jag tĂ€nkte pĂ„ det kom genast 2 tankar i mitt huvud.

1. Varför springer inte vi vuxna runt med barnen? Är det Biologist? Eller Ă€r det för att vi blivit inprĂ€ntade med nĂ€sta tanke:

2. Hur pĂ„verkar det busande barn att stĂ€ndigt fĂ„ höra kommentarer som “Nu fĂ„r ni ta dĂ€mpa er” som min pappa alltid sa och “Ta det lite lugnt och ropa inte sĂ„ mycket“. Med andra ord: Ha inte sĂ„ förbaskat skoj! Jag tĂ€nker genast pĂ„ vad Micke Gunnarsson sĂ€ger om att skolan och livet ska vara som att gĂ„ pĂ„ Liseberg. Samma som Richard Gerver sĂ€ger. “Every school should be like Disneyland“. PĂ„verkar det barnen i lĂ€ngden eller skakar dom det av sig det med egna insikten att det Ă€r sĂ„ mycket roligare att inte göra som vi vuxna sĂ€ger?

SÀger vi nÄgonsin saker som:

“Heja heja heja! Kom igen nu! Kan ni inte högre? Spring lite fortare. Ska vi se vem som orkar flest varv runt soffan?”

Alla pratar om vikten av Kreativitet, Lek och Energi. Men hur gör vi vuxna? FöregÄr vi med gott exempel. Eller Àr mÄnga av oss biologiskt oförmögna att göra det? SjÀlv kÀnner jag mig som ett barn och kan ofta flippa ut helt ibland till mÄnga vuxnas stor förvÄning. Men Àven jag kÀnner mig hÀmmad ibland. SÀrskilt nÀr det ska göras publikt.

Jag har lĂ€nge tyckt om att hoppa och skutta över saker pĂ„ stan. Men det kĂ€nns vĂ€ldigt pinsamt nĂ€r nĂ„gon annan tittar pĂ„ ibland. Det Ă€r mycket lĂ€ttare nĂ€r jag gör det med barnen eller nĂ€r ingen tittar. För nĂ€r jag drucket ett par öl sĂ„ kĂ€nner jag att det spritter i kroppen och att mĂ„nga “spĂ€rrar” slĂ€pper.

Piska upp lunchen!

Lunch Beat pÄ SSWC 2012

Lunch Beat pÄ #SSWC 2012

För 2 Ă„r sen var jag pĂ„ min första Lunch Beat. Det Ă€r nĂ€r vuxna mĂ€nniskor trĂ€ffas under lunchtimmen helt nyktra och dansar tillsammans. Jag har alltid Ă€lskat att dansa. Jag har alltid gjort det vilt och galet med ett par öl under vĂ€sten. SĂ„ dĂ„ nĂ€r man stod dĂ€r första gĂ„ngen pĂ„ lunchen kĂ€ndes det som vada mot en strid ström innan benen till slut började röra pĂ„ sig. Nu 2 Ă„r senare har jag inga av dessa spĂ€rrar kvar. Nu kĂ€nns det underbart nĂ€r pulsen stiger och endorfinerna börjar flöda. Jag kan till och med försĂ€tta mig i Trance och slĂ„ pĂ„ Hive-Switchen i hjĂ€rnan helt nykter nu 🙂

Busa mera! [Live Long and Prosper!]

SÄ jag tror att Àven om vi förlorat mycket av att vad det Àr mÀnniska sÄ kan vi ta tillbaka denna energin. Somliga har bara en lÀngre vÀg att vandra pÄ denna stig. För oss som alla lÀmnat denna stig Àr det bara att sÀtta igÄng att klÀttra, hoppa, springa och skutta in i en ny kreativ framtid! Live Long and Prosper!

Busa med dina och andras Barn!
Busa med dig sjÀlv!
Busa mera!
Lev lÀngre!
Och Blomstra!

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]
Holistic Thinking Ninja

The Hunt Is On [Here be Pirates] #Blogg100

Here be Pirates! It’s time raise the sails and cast away on a new 100 day journey. This journey takes place in our minds as we travel ever deeper into our minds using the technique called journaling. As I have given the Ninja side of me much love lately it’s now time to give the pirate side some love! I’ve been seeing some of the new pirate series Black Sails and I just love the Pirate Myth. We can all be Pirates and Ninjas and go hunting for a new society together. Find out more by reading below and follow with me on this 100 day journey.

Avast, me hearties! [Let’s go hunting]

#Blogg100 Challenge

#Blogg100 Challenge

It’s that time of year again. Last year we boarded our vessel on January 23 to go on a 100 day journey. This year it’s the March 1. The Vessel I’m referring to is not a physical one, but the mind. And The Journey we are embarking on is the #Blogg100 Challenge.

Why go on a Journey in your mind? By doing journaling in the form of a private diary or a public blog is very helpful for the mind if it’s done in an analytical way. When putting words on your thoughts, you greatly help your brain sorting and evolving them. So while embarking on this Journey my mind also immediately draws on to another adventure …

Black Sails [“Yo ho ho, and a bottle of… rum!”]

As you may already have figured I love Ninjas. I also like the Mythical Pirates from the movies. The whole Ninjas vs. Pirates Meme can be found throughout my blog. So it’s about time that the pirate side got some love as well. My favourite movie as a child was Crimson Pirate with Burt Lancaster. It was the first movie my uncle had taped on his first VHS player back in the eighties and me and my brother watched it countless times together with Star Wars. It was with great anticipation that watched the first episode of HBO’s new series Black Sails. And it did not disappoint. I just love the beautiful setting of Nassau in the Caribbean and mix between fictional and historical narration. It sets me head cap’n spinnin’! And have gotten me playing Gangplank allot more in League of Legends 😉

It may not be the deepest of shows but it has its moments, like the one below. For me personally it’s about what life and ambitions was like back then. How is that different from, how many men in power today, just want to rob the world? Mankind haven’t changed a lot in the last 50 000 years. We are still capable of so much greed and cruelty. This is something we should think about on a daily basis.

– The emperor writes: How should you be?

You should be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continuously pounds. It stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet.

I hear you say – “How unlucky that this should happen to me”. But not at all. Perhaps say instead how lucky I am that I am not broken by what has happened, and I am not afraid of what is about to happen. For the same blow might have stricken any one, but not many who would have absorbed it without capitulation and complaint. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations read in Black Sails

Nassau - Kingdom of Pirates

Nassau – Kingdom of Pirates – Black Sails

Hunting your own Destiny [“I won’t rest till I see ye hangin’ from the yardarm!”]

What Captain Flint wants in Black Sails, is to hunt down his Destiny as King of Thieves. It maybe isn’t the noblest of quests but it is also about being rid of the of Imperial Leaders of the Greedy Olden World. Nothing is ever that simple.

It’s also about the journey to get there. This is how I intend to use my focus when doing my blogging. Hunting down my Destiny and recording my Journey on the way. Thus reflecting on my motives to get there. What actions is worthy raising me sails for? Who will I want as “me hands” to get there. And what price does me hunting’ come by? So the Pirate Meme is comes to mind after all 🙂

Will you set out on a great adventurous journey with me hunting down our destinies? Life is about the Journey. Let’s make it a good one that may be worthy of a song!

@LordSillion [Michael Sillion]
Holistic Thinking Ninja